Holy bejeezus, I haven't updated in quite sometime. Sorry about that folks. Things come up, you know? I sure hope people are still checking this out. =) Well, here's an update. Enjoy, loves. <3 ’cause it’s so fake. all that cliché stuff, i hate it. i hate feeling like everyone knows the secret handshake but me. It's those changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes nothing remains quite the same with all of our running, and all of our cunning If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane the truth is every girl has a dream. mine is to wake up to rocks being thrown at my bedroom window only to see the boy i love standing in the rain laying down in the grass headphones blasting as i watch my world pass by it's 4am She's laying on her bedroom floor, blasting her music in her ears, staring up at her ceiling, this is what it takes to go numb discard this message throw this bottle back in the ocean rip this page from the history books smash all the street signs erase all the maps forget my name forget my face you grab onto the grass, to keep from falling off the earth. We hold these truths self evident. the lies we used to represent who we are, because it was never meant to be. & all the songs we used to sing, they used to tell us all about how it was never meant to be. Yes, a heart can hallucinate if it's completely starved for love it can even make monsters seem like angels from above
I'm swearing out excuses that would make your stomach turn. the road we drove last night stretched from the desert to Las Vegas, so we filled our cups & lit one up. It takes a lot to phase me, I'm pretty stable, I'm pretty sane but I'm looking at my future &God, Do I have to lose her? I thought I could do this without being attatched just have fun and not give my heart away but all of a sudden every smile every word stays with me i can't get you out of my head boy i can't get you out of my head. And your slowly shaking finger tips show that your scared like me so let pretend were alone and I know you may be scared and I know were unprepared but I don’t care. There is a secret that we keep I won't sleep if you won't sleep Because tonight may be the last chance we'll be given We are compelled to do what we must do We are compelled to do what we have been forbidden I hope your brand new friends, Can't tell what's wrong. I loved you. And sometimes you loved me too. If I had followed all the rules I would have never gotten anywhere. -Maryilyn Monroe Living a lie, broken dreams, empty promises, losing yourself to someone, building this perfect world and suddenly realizing that it will never amount to anything because this world you've built up doesn't even exist. Attempting to fill that emptiness never succeeds, people are wasted space and will never be able to complete you because the hurt they cause just makes it worse. Break me down, come on .. break me in pieces, I let you get to me - I failed myself a million times thinking you cared, but you never did, and you never will because I'm as broken as I'll ever be and you cant save me. -Ali Kramer “If you never did, you should. These things are fun, and fun is good." --Dr. Seuss When winged shadows cross the land, fear not the wrath of demon's hand. Remember this when terror sings: dragons fly on angels' wings. Yesterday at the market, I saw a couple holding hands... and I realized we'll never do that. Never anything like it. No picnics or unguarded smiles. No rings. Just... stolen moments that leave too quickly. -Tristan & Isolde We are told to remember the idea, not the man. Because a man can fail. He can be caught, he can be killed and forgotten. But four hundred years later an idea can still change the world. I've witnessed firsthand the power of ideas. I've seen people kill in the name of them; and die defending them. But you cannot touch an idea, cannot hold it or kiss it. An idea does not bleed, it cannot feel pain, and it does not love. -V for Vendetta I guess that's what happens in the end, you start thinking about the beginning. -Mr. & Mrs. Smith Now she’s grown up and you can’t take it back. And for the first time, let’s just allow ourselves to be whatever it is we are. We are compelled to do what we must do, we are compelled to do what we have been forbidden. -Dashboard Confessional sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole just like a faucet that leaks. and there if comfort in the sound, but while you debate "half empty or half full?" it slowly rises, your love is gonna drown. well you tell me what you saw & i'll tell you what you missed when the ocean met the sky. you missed when time & life shook hands & said goodbye. when the earth folded in on itself & said, "good luck, for your sake i hope heaven & hell are really there, but i wouldn't hold my breath." you're a slave to your money, then you die. i'll take you down the only road i've ever been down.
give me tits and politicians give me death and demolition give me glamour and sedation yeah, give me television geography's too stubborn & people are too clear, so let's go find a roadside motel with a clerk who won't tell. days will turn into nights; nights will turn into days, weeks, seasons, & years. we'll stay for years. i've been wondering what you're thinking and if you like my dress tonight would you still say you love me under this ordinary moonlight? i'm so afraid of what you'd say. cause i've seen love die way too many times when it deserved to be alive i've seen you cry way too many times when you deserve to be alive alright, you win, but i only give you one night to prove yourself to be better than my attempted fight. i swear to god if you hurt me i will leap, i will toss myself from these very cliffs and you will never see it coming. "settle precious, i know what you're going through. see, minutes before you got here, i was gonna jump too." mother, mother may i cry? father, will you teach me how to die the right way someday? she speaks with silence i've understood every word are you with me tonight witnessing this moving painting? we'll plant our feet into the ground to never be washed away so don't back down just yet or blow this flame out we'll tend to these scars with art carved in our arms thoughts unexpressed city limits have changed you so rid those cast irons come clean and just you're the only light to see forget those past downfalls the telephone number i got for you says nobody's home. the best thing i can think to do right now is leave it alone. & you had an apology in your mailbox since last july, it's funny, when you find the words to say, you find no reply. i had thought that there was an arrow to kill this silence. or at least a single bullet wallowing out in despair. and we've been wondering on searching for something, but somehow we never find anything there.
& it's a bad rain today, so let's try not to speak of old times. & it's a long shot but i'm looking for the good just like you told me to do but i'm told it takes patience to improve. you're a fucking liar & i'm leaving. you can keep all the friends that you made through me, i'm lying too, i can't leave home alone. we spent our nights on sidewalks streetlights and stop signs held our destiny we peeled out through the intersection hoping to feel a little more free but kids like us aren't lucky enough yeah, we will never get out of this town
just give it up girl, he'll love you then. you just want a kiss but he wants to undress. give up girl, romance is dead. you want to cuddle, he wants to go to bed.
she was lying on the floor counting stretch marks, she hadn't been a virgin & he hadn't been a god, so she named the baby Elvis to make up for the royalty he lacks. the pain you create can make a scar. you'll fall apart; you went too far. now that the summer's gone we're not, not like you, your heart is untrue the endings are raining down why do you run away from your fars? you'll fall apart; you'll fall for years. eyes toward the silver screen we watch it fade to black one last climactic scene we watch the roles play back it's not right, he leads a double life. we made love on the living room floor with the noise in the background of a televised war and in the deafening pleasure i thought i heard someone say "if we walk away, they'll walk away." we've synthesized a compound to treat this conscience, it's: one part loss, one part no sleep, one part the gun shot we heard, one part the screams mistaken for laughter, one part everything after, one part love, one part stepping out of the driving rain, one part parting ways in the cold apartment. don't look back, just keep running down the stairs. do you hear the footsteps? can you hear voices in the traffic, communiqués in the attic? they say after time all this will heal we will rebuild and these broken arms will mend themselves in our embrace. I walk around screaming, "screw the world," just because it's easier than actually feeling anything. i'm fucking freezing, and i just saw napalm in your eyes. rip off what's left of another day, another crash. i'm not good with goodbyes. moments like this don't just come and go, so soak it in. this is all i know. hollow eyes have seen it all. they say it takes a lifetime for an empire to fall. i keep swallowing, choking on ashes, hoping that you will help me breathe. but tomorrow's not coming. there's nothing left to believe. you look like christmas to me, pale and glowing. the streetlight catching you through the window. and for a split second i forgot all my failures, and the trash on the street below. i'm here with you. you're here with me. let's try to forget. sleep with all the lights on. you're not so happy, you're not so secure. you're dying to look cute in your blue jeans but you're plastic just like everyone. you're just like everyone. i asked you what it's like to love, break, and die all in the same breath. you said it's like walking with silence in december, while a million hearts explode in your chest, but you don't care enough to feel it. i woke up surprised and disappointed to find out i was still me. last night should've killed me. took a shower, couldn't scrub it off. tried to scream, i could only cough. i can't trust myself to be my own friend. and he wonders what she hides in those bags under her eyes. the secrets of the sleepless nights. she spent with him since she let him in and the hands that those weapons are in both commit the greatest sin by breaking hearts instead of skin. it's all they know. I can tell by your tears… you’re gonna remember it all. It's important to scare yourself. To do things you don't think you're capable of doing. I guess you can say that i've changed, but you never really knew me in the first place. Hidden secrets nobody knows Eyes are open, hands are fisted Deep inside I'm warped & twisted So many tricks & so many lies Too many whens & too many whys Nobody's special,nobody's gifted I'm just me, warped & twisted Let's disappear, gotta jet out of here. Feel the wind across our face. We'll have some fun, gonna dance on the run. It's a perfect day to break away. It don't matter what we do, as long as i'm with you. on the outside, you know you're not that same naive kid anymore. you've been through too much lately. but deep down, at your core, there will always be a part of you that rejects reality, that is eternally hopeful. because the way we kiss is better than any drug because when i'm with you, i believe in love She looks up at the building Says she’s thinking of jumping Says she’s tired of life. She must be tired of something. We didn’t realize we were making memories We just thought we were having fun You'll never stop. It's gotta change. I can't resist falling into those arms. You think I won't leave. Yes you're good, but not so good I can't see dim the lights. lock the door. lay out all the memories on the floor. throw the dust off of out past. let it all come flooding back. because it isn't easy being strong && when i can't forget your gone. i just surrender && have myself a night to remember. My heart will break my ribs if I hold this in, I must confess, I need you now. nothing is forvever [ forever is a lie ] all we have is what's between hello & goodbye Don't you hate the feeling when your throat hurts from all the tears you're holding back & you can't control the words coming out of your mouth because there are just too many things you haven't said Life is about trusting your feelings and taking chances losing and finding happiness appreciating the memories and learning from the past and realizing that people always change
they say that anger is just love disappointed they say that love is just a state of mind
Let's lay on our backs and gaze up at the stars Let's pretend for a moment that the only thing that matters is you and me. Let's pretend hearts could never be broken. Let's pretend we're more than best friends.
From the outside looking in, you can never understand it ; from the inside looking out, you never can explain it. i don't know what it is. i just cry sometimes. maybe i'm just so oblivious to the things going on around me that i don't realize i'm hurting as much as i am so when the tears stream down my face and i don't have anything to say don't ask me why i'm crying because i simply, just don't know. so just hold me, and i'll be okay. Depression is such a cruel punishment. There are no fevers, no rashes, no blood tests to send people scurrying in concern. Just the slow erosion of the self, as insidious as any cancer. And, like cancer, it is essentially a solitary experience. A room in hell with only your name on the door. - "Undercurrents" by Martha Manning So will you scatter my ashes where they won't be found? I kept my word when I swore that I would let you down And now that I'm gone Try to forget me and just move on. When you're depressed, there's no calendar. There are no dates, there's no minutes, there's nothing. You're just existing in this cold, ever-heavy atmosphere, Like they put you inside a vial of mercury. - "On The Edge Of Darkness" by Rod Steiger She told him that she believes in living Bigger than she's living now But her world keeps spinning backwards Because I have learned that nothing is as pressing as the one who is pressing would like you to believe, and I am content to walk a little slower, because there is nowhere that I really need to be. I find that life is easier when it is just a blur. Drown me in the ash from your cigarrette. Just calm down, slow down. Im not leaving yet. You know im stuck in this town. The cruel skyline mocks me. I wanna leave this fucking place I pretend my life is perfect like the face on tv, yeah, that's the only way to face another day, try to deny the misery. |